No Reply Needed

All of the phrases are taken from various spam emails over the course of several weeks. For this "demo" version, the voice is generated with a built-in Macintosh voice, and the music is from GarageBand. Since the voice is not always perfectly clear, I recommend following along with the text (below).

(We Have What You Need)

An email poem in “free” verse
Compiled by Stephen A. Schrum
(Summer 2004)
Click the Play button to start when you are ready.
Hello, I have a special offer for you...
We have what you need.
Do you want a prosperous future, increased earning power, more money and the respect of all?
Boost your confidence level and self esteem.
Re-finance now, even with bad-credit!
We have what you need...
  Check your spouse and staff, and
Drop the HAMMER on the next chick you bang...
Increase your bust size.
Increase your penis size!
We have what you need...
  Get a Bachelors, Masters, MBA, and Doctorate (PhD) diploma!
Without a prescription--
World’s fastest shipping!
All natural;
There are no required tests, classes, books, or interviews!
No one is turned down!
Discreet shipping; no doctor visit needed.
Smoker Rates Available.
Confidentiality assured!